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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

Dead From the Waist Down

S08, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 6, 2010)
Ashamed that he can't afford to buy a birthday present for Lyndsey, Alan gets creative.
  • Wed 1/18
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

S08, E12  (First Aired: Dec. 13, 2010)
Depressed after his breakup from Courtney (Jenny McCarthy), Charlie goes to see his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch).
  • Wed 1/18
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

S02, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 27, 2004)
Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician (Ryan Stiles), and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end.
  • Wed 1/18
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Bag Full of Jawea

S02, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 4, 2004)
Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher, but the results are unfortunate.
  • Wed 1/18
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup

S08, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 3, 2011)
Alan feels paranoid when Lyndsey becomes friendly with Charlie.
  • Thu 1/19
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Looking' for Japanese Subs

S08, E14  (First Aired: Jan. 17, 2011)
Charlie begins stalking Rose (Melanie Lynskey); Alan becomes concerned when Eldridge and Jake begin videotaping dangerous stunts.
  • Thu 1/19
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Go Get Mommy's Bra

S02, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 11, 2004)
Charlie's mother, Evelyn, asks to borrow his Mercedes so she can impress a Saudi prince who she wants to buy real estate.
  • Thu 1/19
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Bad News From the Clinic

S02, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 18, 2004)
Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who is better at playing hard to get than he is.
  • Thu 1/19
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

S08, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 7, 2011)
Charlie and Rose continue their affair; Alan's business becomes a Ponzi scheme.
  • Fri 1/20
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That Darn Priest

S08, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 14, 2011)
Rose discovers Alan's Ponzi scheme; Alan meets Rose's ``husband''; Charlie tries to get time alone with Rose.
  • Fri 1/20
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

S03, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 10, 2006)
Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house, since Charlie is having a dry spell with women.
  • Mon 1/23
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

S03, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 24, 2006)
Charlie sleeps with Kandi's mother, as Alan tries to win her daughter back; Kandi arranges a date between her father and Judith.
  • Mon 1/23
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Pilot

S01, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
Charlie's life turns upside down when his brother and nephew move in; at the supermarket, Charlie discovers he can use 10-year-old Jake to attract women.
  • Mon 1/23
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Big Flappy Bastards

S01, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 29, 2003)
Charlie doesn't know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of sea gulls into his room; Judith surprises Alan when he goes home to fix her sprinklers.
  • Mon 1/23
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

S02, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 25, 2004)
Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself.
  • Mon 1/23
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

S02, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 8, 2004)
Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister (Camryn Manheim) to cater a party their mother has conned them into throwing for her.
  • Mon 1/23
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

S01, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 20, 2003)
Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.
  • Wed 1/25
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

S01, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 27, 2003)
After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up; Charlie teaches Jake a lesson about screening telephone calls from women.
  • Wed 1/25
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

S02, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 15, 2004)
Alan gets a taste of what Charlie's sex life is like when he meets a woman at the grocery store who fulfills his every fantasy.
  • Wed 1/25
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Yes, Monsignor

S02, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 22, 2004)
Charlie bumps into an old flame he once thought would be Mrs. Right (Denise Richards) and is pleased to learn her marriage did not work out.
  • Wed 1/25
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

S01, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 3, 2003)
For a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of Charlie's female friend.
  • Thu 1/26
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Another Night With Neil Diamond

S10, E21  (First Aired: Apr. 25, 2013)
Alan has a difficult time coping when Lyndsey breaks up with him.
  • Thu 1/26
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Salmon Under My Sweater

S02, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 29, 2004)
Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics; things heat up between Alan and Rose.
  • Thu 1/26
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

S02, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 13, 2004)
Jake discovers an angry Web site devoted to Charlie's womanizing ways.
  • Thu 1/26
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

S01, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 10, 2003)
Charlie realizes Jake's classmates know the words to all of his jingles, and he is inspired to craft the fourth-grade musical with unusual results.
  • Fri 1/27
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

My Bodacious Vidalia

S10, E22  (First Aired: May. 2, 2013)
With encouragement from Walden, Alan decides to update his look; Alan is faced with a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman.
  • Fri 1/27
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Lungful of Alan

S02, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 3, 2005)
Alan's homely high-school friend (Paget Brewster) returns as a beautiful woman, and the brothers quickly begin competing for her attentions.
  • Fri 1/27
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

S02, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 17, 2005)
When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.
  • Fri 1/27
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Who's Vod Kanockers?

S04, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 25, 2006)
Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor (Steven Tyler) causes trouble.
  • Sun 1/29
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

S04, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 2, 2006)
Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.
  • Sun 1/29
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts

S02, E14  (First Aired: Jan. 31, 2005)
Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.
  • Sun 1/29
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Smell the Umbrella Stand

S02, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 7, 2005)
Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.
  • Sun 1/29
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

S01, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 6, 2003)
One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.
  • Mon 1/30
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

S01, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 13, 2003)
Alan offers to help get Charlie's cleaning lady back if Charlie can get Jake ready to go out to dinner with his mother.
  • Mon 1/30
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Phase One, Complete

S01, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 17, 2003)
Jake and Evelyn befriend one of Charlie's one-night stands, causing her to stay longer than expected.
  • Mon 1/30
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

S01, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 15, 2003)
Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau; when the brothers go shopping, they clash over what to buy.
  • Mon 1/30
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Mon 1/30
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Camel Filters and Pheremones

S01, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 5, 2004)
The housekeeper's beautiful granddaughter comes to work with her and attracts the attention of the men; Alan tries to convince Judith that Charlie's house is good for Jake.
  • Tue 1/31
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Sarah Like Puny Alan

S01, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 12, 2004)
Charlie sets his ailing brother up on a date, then drags him to a steam room to help him get rid of his flu symptoms.
  • Tue 1/31
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Tue 1/31
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT