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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    2.5 / 5.0
    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

S01, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 27, 2003)
After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up; Charlie teaches Jake a lesson about screening telephone calls from women.
  • Mon 10/22
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

S01, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 3, 2003)
For a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of Charlie's female friend.
  • Tue 10/23
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

S01, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 10, 2003)
Charlie realizes Jake's classmates know the words to all of his jingles, and he is inspired to craft the fourth-grade musical with unusual results.
  • Tue 10/23
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Phase One, Complete

S01, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 17, 2003)
Jake and Evelyn befriend one of Charlie's one-night stands, causing her to stay longer than expected.
  • Wed 10/24
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

S01, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 15, 2003)
Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau; when the brothers go shopping, they clash over what to buy.
  • Wed 10/24
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Camel Filters and Pheremones

S01, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 5, 2004)
The housekeeper's beautiful granddaughter comes to work with her and attracts the attention of the men; Alan tries to convince Judith that Charlie's house is good for Jake.
  • Thu 10/25
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Sarah Like Puny Alan

S01, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 12, 2004)
Charlie sets his ailing brother up on a date, then drags him to a steam room to help him get rid of his flu symptoms.
  • Thu 10/25
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

S11, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 17, 2013)
Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's illicit affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.
  • Fri 10/26
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

An Old Flame With a New Wick

S01, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 1, 2004)
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).
  • Fri 10/26
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

S11, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 24, 2013)
Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue her acting career.
  • Sat 10/27
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

If My Hole Could Talk

S05, E18  (First Aired: May. 12, 2008)
Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight over a school assignment.
  • Sat 10/27
  • 11:00PM-11:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Waiting for the Right Snapper

S05, E19  (First Aired: May. 19, 2008)
Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the daughter of the woman he's dating and realizes they've met before.
  • Mon 10/29
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

S01, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 9, 2004)
Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie. Guest star: Jenna Elfman.
  • Mon 10/29
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That Was Saliva, Alan

S01, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 16, 2004)
Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run; Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.
  • Tue 10/30
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

S01, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 22, 2004)
Judith's sister, Liz (guest star Teri Hatcher), hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party; Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake.
  • Tue 10/30
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

S01, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 19, 2004)
After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist (Jane Lynch).
  • Wed 10/31
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Hi, Mr. Horned One

S03, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 24, 2005)
Charlie likes dating Isabella (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe), a wild, sexually uninhibited woman, until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
  • Wed 10/31
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Ol' Mexican Spinach

S12, E01  (First Aired: Oct. 30, 2014)
After a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides he needs to change his life -- but needs Alan's help to do it.
  • Thu 11/1
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Sniffing, No Wowing

S01, E21  (First Aired: May. 3, 2004)
Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura (Heather Locklear).
  • Thu 11/1
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

S11, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 7, 2013)
Alan wants to set up a date with Lynda Carter once he learns Walden knows her; Walden begrudgingly agrees to invite Lynda over for dinner.
  • Fri 11/2
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

S01, E22  (First Aired: May. 10, 2004)
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees a therapist (Jane Lynch).
  • Fri 11/2
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

S11, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 14, 2013)
Lyndsey's jealousy disrupts Walden's and Alan's dates with beautiful women.
  • Sat 11/3
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth

S06, E23  (First Aired: May. 11, 2009)
When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.
  • Sat 11/3
  • 11:00PM-11:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

S06, E24  (First Aired: May. 18, 2009)
When Charlie finds out that Mia is back in town, he begins to question his relationship with Chelsea; Judith is rushed to the hospital.
  • Mon 11/5
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT