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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

Release the Dogs

S04, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 13, 2006)
Alan takes Charlie's suggestion of a jog on the beach to cure his insomnia; Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.
  • Sun 8/20
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

S04, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 20, 2006)
Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
  • Sun 8/20
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

S08, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 7, 2011)
Charlie and Rose continue their affair; Alan's business becomes a Ponzi scheme.
  • Sun 8/20
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That Darn Priest

S08, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 14, 2011)
Rose discovers Alan's Ponzi scheme; Alan meets Rose's ``husband''; Charlie tries to get time alone with Rose.
  • Sun 8/20
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

S06, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 2, 2009)
Charlie rushes to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom before Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor) arrives.
  • Mon 8/21
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Kissing Abraham Lincoln

S04, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 27, 2006)
Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.
  • Mon 8/21
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Walnuts and Demerol

S04, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 11, 2006)
Charlie finds himself throwing an unwanted, unplanned holiday party; Evelyn tries to keep Charlie from sleeping with his party date.
  • Mon 8/21
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

S06, E24  (First Aired: May. 18, 2009)
When Charlie finds out that Mia is back in town, he begins to question his relationship with Chelsea; Judith is rushed to the hospital.
  • Mon 8/21
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

818-jklpuzo

S07, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 21, 2009)
Charlie must decide between his fiancee, Chelsea, and his former girlfriend, Mia.
  • Tue 8/22
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Give Me Your Thumb

S07, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 2, 2009)
Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast-reduction surgery, and Charlie kicks him out.
  • Tue 8/22
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Untainted by Filth

S07, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 9, 2009)
Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.
  • Wed 8/23
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Castrating Sheep in Montana

S04, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 8, 2007)
Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter (Sara Rue).
  • Wed 8/23
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

S04, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 22, 2007)
When Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb (Ryan Stiles) making out, it triggers a repressed memory for Charlie.
  • Wed 8/23
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

S07, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 16, 2009)
Chelsea tries to help her beautiful college roommate get over a bad breakup.
  • Wed 8/23
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

S07, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 23, 2009)
Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.
  • Thu 8/24
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

S07, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 7, 2009)
Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.
  • Thu 8/24
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

S10, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 25, 2012)
Walden ignores Alan's warnings and starts dating Rose (Melanie Lynskey).
  • Fri 8/25
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

S07, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 11, 2010)
Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith.
  • Fri 8/25
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Ferrets, Attack!

S10, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 1, 2012)
Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose.
  • Sat 8/26
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

S04, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 5, 2007)
Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor (guest star Brooke Shields).
  • Sun 8/27
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

My Damn Stalker

S04, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 12, 2007)
Charlie must face his feelings when Rose announces she is moving to London; Alan fudges his online dating profile, only to wind up with a fellow profile-embellisher (Allison Janney).
  • Sun 8/27
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

S01, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 6, 2003)
One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.
  • Sun 8/27
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

S01, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 13, 2003)
Alan offers to help get Charlie's cleaning lady back if Charlie can get Jake ready to go out to dinner with his mother.
  • Sun 8/27
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Young People Have Phlegm Too

S04, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 19, 2007)
A more mature woman (Morgan Fairchild) helps rebuild Charlie's ego after he becomes insecure about his age.
  • Mon 8/28
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Yay, No Polyps!

S07, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 18, 2010)
Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, but he finds them in his living room when he returns home.
  • Mon 8/28
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Crude and Uncalled For

S07, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 1, 2010)
A bar fight lands Alan in jail; Charlie worries that Chelsea is interested in the lawyer who takes Alan's case.
  • Tue 8/29
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Tue 8/29
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Kinda Like Necrophilia

S05, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 26, 2007)
Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.
  • Tue 8/29
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Called Him Magoo

S07, E20  (First Aired: May. 10, 2010)
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend; Charlie tries his own approach to get the ``girlfriend experience.''
  • Wed 8/30
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Tinkle Like a Princess

S07, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 1, 2010)
After running off to Las Vegas, Charlie returns with a new wife.
  • Wed 8/30
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Found Your Mustache

S07, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 8, 2010)
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.
  • Thu 8/31
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Thu 8/31
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

S07, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 22, 2010)
Charlie has a return engagement with Gail (Tricia Helfer), Chelsea's best friend; Alan has a surprising effect on a female patient.
  • Thu 8/31
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Avoid the Chinese Mustard

S10, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 8, 2012)
When Walden gets tired of the complications that come with a traditional relationship, he hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi (Miley Cyrus) at the beach house.
  • Fri 9/1
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Fri 9/1
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  • Sat 9/2
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT