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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!

S02, E17  (First Aired: Feb. 21, 2005)
Charlie eschews Alan's medical advice in favor of a visit to his pretty female doctor after he injures his back during sex.
  • Sat 10/21
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

This Unblessed Biscuit

S11, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 10, 2013)
When Berta hurts her back at work, Alan and Walden think she should retire.
  • Sun 10/22
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

And the Plot Moistens

S03, E21  (First Aired: May. 1, 2006)
Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi; Charlie helps Jake prepare a song for his audition for the school musical.
  • Mon 10/23
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Just Once With Aunt Sophie

S03, E22  (First Aired: May. 8, 2006)
Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.
  • Mon 10/23
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

It Was Mame, Mom

S02, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 7, 2005)
When a gay ad executive invites Charlie to a cocktail party, Charlie makes Alan go with him, as his gay partner.
  • Mon 10/23
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise

S02, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 21, 2005)
Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends (Jeri Ryan) on a date, but while they are out he is tormented by thoughts of her with Charlie.
  • Mon 10/23
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Does This Smell Funny to You?

S02, E24  (First Aired: May. 23, 2005)
Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's (Orson Bean) hot trophy wife.
  • Tue 10/24
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts

S03, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 19, 2005)
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.
  • Tue 10/24
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

S03, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 26, 2005)
Alan must see the school principal over a picture Jake drew of a schoolmate and calls Charlie to watch over the boy.
  • Wed 10/25
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

S03, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 3, 2005)
Charlie organizes an intervention to keep Alan from reuniting with Judith.
  • Wed 10/25
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

S03, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 10, 2005)
Berta moves into Charlie's house for a few days and plays one brother against the other.
  • Fri 10/27
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

S11, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 17, 2013)
Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's illicit affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.
  • Fri 10/27
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

S03, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 7, 2005)
Rose's father (Martin Sheen) confronts Charlie about his intentions toward Rose.
  • Sat 10/28
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

S11, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 24, 2013)
Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue her acting career.
  • Sun 10/29
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Pot-Smoking Monkey

S04, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 9, 2006)
After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.
  • Mon 10/30
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

S04, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 16, 2006)
Herb (Ryan Stiles) and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.
  • Mon 10/30
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That Voodoo That I Do Do

S03, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 14, 2005)
Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.
  • Mon 10/30
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Madame and Her Special Friend

S03, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 21, 2005)
A wealthy, elderly woman (Cloris Leachman) sets her sights on Alan.
  • Mon 10/30
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Ergo, the Booty Call

S03, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 6, 2006)
Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.
  • Tue 10/31
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

S03, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 13, 2006)
Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis, Archie (Jon Lovitz).
  • Tue 10/31
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

S03, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 10, 2006)
Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house, since Charlie is having a dry spell with women.
  • Wed 11/1
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

S03, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 24, 2006)
Charlie sleeps with Kandi's mother, as Alan tries to win her daughter back; Kandi arranges a date between her father and Judith.
  • Wed 11/1
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

And the Plot Moistens

S03, E21  (First Aired: May. 1, 2006)
Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi; Charlie helps Jake prepare a song for his audition for the school musical.
  • Thu 11/2
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

S11, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 7, 2013)
Alan wants to set up a date with Lynda Carter once he learns Walden knows her; Walden begrudgingly agrees to invite Lynda over for dinner.
  • Thu 11/2
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT