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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

S04, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 16, 2006)
Herb (Ryan Stiles) and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.
  • Fri 3/24
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

S11, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 6, 2014)
Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen (Kimberly Williams-Paisley).
  • Fri 3/24
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Meander to Your Dander

S05, E11  (First Aired: Mar. 17, 2008)
Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.
  • Sun 3/26
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

S05, E12  (First Aired: Mar. 24, 2008)
Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.
  • Sun 3/26
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

An Old Flame With a New Wick

S01, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 1, 2004)
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).
  • Sun 3/26
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

For the Sake of the Child

S07, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 19, 2009)
After they embarrass him in public, Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan.
  • Mon 3/27
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Apologies for the Frivolity

S04, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 23, 2006)
Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.
  • Mon 3/27
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

S04, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 6, 2006)
Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter (Sara Rue); Alan satisfies a secret fetish.
  • Mon 3/27
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

S01, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 22, 2004)
Judith's sister, Liz (guest star Teri Hatcher), hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party; Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake.
  • Mon 3/27
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

S01, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 19, 2004)
After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist (Jane Lynch).
  • Mon 3/27
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Release the Dogs

S04, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 13, 2006)
Alan takes Charlie's suggestion of a jog on the beach to cure his insomnia; Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.
  • Tue 3/28
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

S04, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 20, 2006)
Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
  • Tue 3/28
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Sniffing, No Wowing

S01, E21  (First Aired: May. 3, 2004)
Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura (Heather Locklear).
  • Tue 3/28
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

S01, E22  (First Aired: May. 10, 2004)
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees a therapist (Jane Lynch).
  • Tue 3/28
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Kissing Abraham Lincoln

S04, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 27, 2006)
Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.
  • Wed 3/29
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Castrating Sheep in Montana

S04, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 8, 2007)
Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter (Sara Rue).
  • Wed 3/29
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Just Like Buffalo

S01, E23  (First Aired: May. 17, 2004)
Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.
  • Wed 3/29
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Can You Feel My Finger?

S01, E24  (First Aired: May. 24, 2004)
A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.
  • Wed 3/29
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

S04, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 22, 2007)
When Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb (Ryan Stiles) making out, it triggers a repressed memory for Charlie.
  • Thu 3/30
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

S04, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 5, 2007)
Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor (guest star Brooke Shields).
  • Fri 3/31
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Welcome Home, Jake

S11, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 13, 2014)
Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place.
  • Fri 3/31
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

West Side Story

S11, E18  (First Aired: Apr. 3, 2014)
Walden's ex-girlfriend invites him to her boutique opening; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's home.
  • Fri 3/31
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Back Off Mary Poppins

S02, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 20, 2004)
Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join.
  • Fri 3/31
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

S05, E16  (First Aired: Apr. 28, 2008)
Alan plans Evelyn's wedding; Charlie pursues his future stepsister.
  • Sun 4/2
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Fish in a Drawer

S05, E17  (First Aired: May. 5, 2008)
A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.
  • Sun 4/2
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

S02, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 27, 2004)
Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician (Ryan Stiles), and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end.
  • Sun 4/2
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Bag Full of Jawea

S02, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 4, 2004)
Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher, but the results are unfortunate.
  • Sun 4/2
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Mon 4/3
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

S06, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 22, 2008)
Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.
  • Mon 4/3
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Pie Hole, Herb

S06, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 29, 2008)
Alan crosses a line when he tries to get back money that he lent Charlie.
  • Tue 4/4
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Tue 4/4
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Damn You, Eggs Benedict

S06, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 6, 2008)
Charlie attempts to cook, Alan tries to date two women at the same time, and Jake samples beer.
  • Tue 4/4
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Flavin' and the Mavin

S06, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 13, 2008)
Alan awaits disaster as Charlie romances Alan's sweet receptionist.
  • Wed 4/5
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Wed 4/5
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

It's Always Nazi Week

S06, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 3, 2008)
When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking.
  • Wed 4/5
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

S06, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 10, 2008)
Alan tries to escape Judith's clutches as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.
  • Thu 4/6
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Thu 4/6
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Pinocchio's Mouth

S06, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 17, 2008)
Charlie has trouble adjusting when his new girlfriend asks him to spend the night at her place.
  • Thu 4/6
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

S11, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 10, 2014)
After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian (Mila Kunis).
  • Fri 4/7
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT