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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    2.5 / 5.0
    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

S02, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 15, 2004)
Alan gets a taste of what Charlie's sex life is like when he meets a woman at the grocery store who fulfills his every fantasy.
  • Wed 9/28
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Yes, Monsignor

S02, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 22, 2004)
Charlie bumps into an old flame he once thought would be Mrs. Right (Denise Richards) and is pleased to learn her marriage did not work out.
  • Wed 9/28
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Mooch at the Boo

S06, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 24, 2008)
Charlie is left to cover when Jake disappears with the neighbor's daughter; Alan scores a hot date, thanks in part to Charlie's car.
  • Sun 10/2
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

S06, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 8, 2008)
When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, Alan wonders if he ever needs to work again.
  • Sun 10/2
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

S05, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 12, 2007)
Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.
  • Sun 10/2
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Tight's Good

S05, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 19, 2007)
Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister (Jenny McCarthy).
  • Sun 10/2
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Lungful of Alan

S02, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 3, 2005)
Alan's homely high-school friend (Paget Brewster) returns as a beautiful woman, and the brothers quickly begin competing for her attentions.
  • Mon 10/3
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

S02, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 17, 2005)
When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.
  • Mon 10/3
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Castrating Sheep in Montana

S04, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 8, 2007)
Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter (Sara Rue).
  • Mon 10/3
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts

S02, E14  (First Aired: Jan. 31, 2005)
Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.
  • Tue 10/4
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Smell the Umbrella Stand

S02, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 7, 2005)
Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.
  • Tue 10/4
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?

S02, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 14, 2005)
Judith leaves Jake with Alan and Charlie while she spends a week in Hawaii, and the guys find that caring for Jake on a daily basis is much different from weekend visits.
  • Wed 10/5
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!

S02, E17  (First Aired: Feb. 21, 2005)
Charlie eschews Alan's medical advice in favor of a visit to his pretty female doctor after he injures his back during sex.
  • Wed 10/5
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

S04, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 5, 2007)
Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor (guest star Brooke Shields).
  • Wed 10/5
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

It Was Mame, Mom

S02, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 7, 2005)
When a gay ad executive invites Charlie to a cocktail party, Charlie makes Alan go with him, as his gay partner.
  • Thu 10/6
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

S09, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 13, 2012)
When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.
  • Thu 10/6
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Young People Have Phlegm Too

S04, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 19, 2007)
A more mature woman (Morgan Fairchild) helps rebuild Charlie's ego after he becomes insecure about his age.
  • Thu 10/6
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise

S02, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 21, 2005)
Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends (Jeri Ryan) on a date, but while they are out he is tormented by thoughts of her with Charlie.
  • Fri 10/7
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Not in My Mouth!

S09, E17  (First Aired: Feb. 20, 2012)
A near-death experience has an adverse effect on Zoey and Walden's relationship; Alan thinks Lyndsey may have a drinking problem.
  • Fri 10/7
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Merely Slept With a Commie

S04, E17  (First Aired: Feb. 26, 2007)
Evelyn makes Charlie and Alan regret saying that she will not have any mourners at her funeral.
  • Fri 10/7
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

It Never Rains in Hooterville

S04, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 19, 2007)
After realizing that Jake's childhood is almost over, Alan makes a last-minute try at father-son bonding; Kandi embarks on a new career.
  • Fri 10/7
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Think You Offended Don

S06, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 19, 2009)
Judith is pregnant with a baby girl, and Alan is convinced he is the father; Jake is in a contentious mood, and Charlie thinks he knows why.
  • Sun 10/9
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

S06, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 2, 2009)
Convinced that Alan is not appreciated by his family, Melissa asks him to live with her and her mother.
  • Sun 10/9
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

S05, E12  (First Aired: Mar. 24, 2008)
Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.
  • Sun 10/9
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

S02, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 18, 2005)
When Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other, Rose tries to help the brothers sort out their feelings.
  • Mon 10/10
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

S02, E21  (First Aired: May. 2, 2005)
When Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has died, she attends the funeral with Alan, then is furious to learn that Alan had kept in touch with Harry after the divorce.
  • Mon 10/10
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Mon 10/10
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

S02, E22  (First Aired: May. 9, 2005)
After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her, her new romantic interest and his daughter.
  • Tue 10/11
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

S02, E23  (First Aired: May. 16, 2005)
Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn for a sleepover visit until he finds himself partying with Charlie and a busload of beautiful female volleyball players.
  • Tue 10/11
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Tue 10/11
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT