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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    2.5 / 5.0
    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

S06, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 8, 2008)
When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, Alan wonders if he ever needs to work again.
  • Thu 12/8
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

One Nut Johnson

S10, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 6, 2012)
Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.
  • Thu 12/8
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Who's Vod Kanockers?

S04, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 25, 2006)
Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor (Steven Tyler) causes trouble.
  • Thu 12/8
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

S04, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 2, 2006)
Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.
  • Thu 12/8
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Devil's Lube

S06, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 15, 2008)
When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.
  • Fri 12/9
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Welcome to Alancrest

S10, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 3, 2013)
Alan invests Walden's money in Kate's fashion line; leading a double life takes its toll on Walden.
  • Fri 12/9
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Pot-Smoking Monkey

S04, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 9, 2006)
After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.
  • Fri 12/9
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

S04, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 16, 2006)
Herb (Ryan Stiles) and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.
  • Fri 12/9
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

It Was Mame, Mom

S02, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 7, 2005)
When a gay ad executive invites Charlie to a cocktail party, Charlie makes Alan go with him, as his gay partner.
  • Sun 12/11
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise

S02, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 21, 2005)
Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends (Jeri Ryan) on a date, but while they are out he is tormented by thoughts of her with Charlie.
  • Sun 12/11
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Apologies for the Frivolity

S04, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 23, 2006)
Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.
  • Sun 12/11
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

S04, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 6, 2006)
Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter (Sara Rue); Alan satisfies a secret fetish.
  • Sun 12/11
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Thank God for Scoliosis

S06, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 12, 2009)
Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.
  • Mon 12/12
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Think You Offended Don

S06, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 19, 2009)
Judith is pregnant with a baby girl, and Alan is convinced he is the father; Jake is in a contentious mood, and Charlie thinks he knows why.
  • Mon 12/12
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Release the Dogs

S04, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 13, 2006)
Alan takes Charlie's suggestion of a jog on the beach to cure his insomnia; Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.
  • Mon 12/12
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

S04, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 20, 2006)
Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
  • Mon 12/12
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

S06, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 2, 2009)
Convinced that Alan is not appreciated by his family, Melissa asks him to live with her and her mother.
  • Tue 12/13
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

S06, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 2, 2009)
Charlie rushes to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom before Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor) arrives.
  • Wed 12/14
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Ocu or the Pado?

S06, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 9, 2009)
When Charlie swears his love to Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), her response is nothing like what he'd expected.
  • Wed 12/14
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Kissing Abraham Lincoln

S04, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 27, 2006)
Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.
  • Wed 12/14
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Castrating Sheep in Montana

S04, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 8, 2007)
Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter (Sara Rue).
  • Wed 12/14
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

My Son's Enormous Head

S06, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 16, 2009)
Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick and he is forced to take care of her.
  • Thu 12/15
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Grab a Feather and Get in Line

S10, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 10, 2013)
Alan and Walden go to Kate's fashion show in New York so Walden can reveal the truth about his identity.
  • Thu 12/15
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Two Finger Rule

S06, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 30, 2009)
Chelsea finds pictures of a naked woman on Charlie's phone.
  • Fri 12/16
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Run Steven Staven! Run!

S10, E14  (First Aired: Jan. 31, 2013)
Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships.
  • Fri 12/16
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

S04, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 22, 2007)
When Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb (Ryan Stiles) making out, it triggers a repressed memory for Charlie.
  • Fri 12/16
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

S04, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 5, 2007)
Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor (guest star Brooke Shields).
  • Fri 12/16
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

S02, E22  (First Aired: May. 9, 2005)
After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her, her new romantic interest and his daughter.
  • Mon 12/19
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

S02, E23  (First Aired: May. 16, 2005)
Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn for a sleepover visit until he finds himself partying with Charlie and a busload of beautiful female volleyball players.
  • Mon 12/19
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

S06, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 13, 2009)
Evelyn finally meets Charlie and Chelsea.
  • Mon 12/19
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Above Exalted Cyclops

S06, E21  (First Aired: Apr. 27, 2009)
Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with Rose.
  • Mon 12/19
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Mon 12/19
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

S06, E22  (First Aired: May. 4, 2009)
Alan finds there is not much room for him left in the house when Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.
  • Tue 12/20
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth

S06, E23  (First Aired: May. 11, 2009)
When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.
  • Tue 12/20
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Tue 12/20
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

S06, E24  (First Aired: May. 18, 2009)
When Charlie finds out that Mia is back in town, he begins to question his relationship with Chelsea; Judith is rushed to the hospital.
  • Wed 12/21
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

818-jklpuzo

S07, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 21, 2009)
Charlie must decide between his fiancee, Chelsea, and his former girlfriend, Mia.
  • Wed 12/21
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Wed 12/21
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT