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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    2.5 / 5.0
    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

The Salmon Under My Sweater

S02, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 29, 2004)
Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics; things heat up between Alan and Rose.
  • Mon 2/20
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

S02, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 13, 2004)
Jake discovers an angry Web site devoted to Charlie's womanizing ways.
  • Mon 2/20
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

S04, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 20, 2006)
Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
  • Mon 2/20
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Kissing Abraham Lincoln

S04, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 27, 2006)
Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.
  • Mon 2/20
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Lungful of Alan

S02, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 3, 2005)
Alan's homely high-school friend (Paget Brewster) returns as a beautiful woman, and the brothers quickly begin competing for her attentions.
  • Tue 2/21
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

S02, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 17, 2005)
When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.
  • Tue 2/21
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Castrating Sheep in Montana

S04, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 8, 2007)
Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter (Sara Rue).
  • Tue 2/21
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

S04, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 22, 2007)
When Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb (Ryan Stiles) making out, it triggers a repressed memory for Charlie.
  • Tue 2/21
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts

S02, E14  (First Aired: Jan. 31, 2005)
Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.
  • Wed 2/22
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Smell the Umbrella Stand

S02, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 7, 2005)
Charlie tries to distract Alan from an upcoming medical procedure by planning a trip to Las Vegas.
  • Wed 2/22
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

S04, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 5, 2007)
Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor (guest star Brooke Shields).
  • Wed 2/22
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

My Damn Stalker

S04, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 12, 2007)
Charlie must face his feelings when Rose announces she is moving to London; Alan fudges his online dating profile, only to wind up with a fellow profile-embellisher (Allison Janney).
  • Wed 2/22
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?

S02, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 14, 2005)
Judith leaves Jake with Alan and Charlie while she spends a week in Hawaii, and the guys find that caring for Jake on a daily basis is much different from weekend visits.
  • Thu 2/23
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

S11, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 7, 2013)
Alan wants to set up a date with Lynda Carter once he learns Walden knows her; Walden begrudgingly agrees to invite Lynda over for dinner.
  • Thu 2/23
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Young People Have Phlegm Too

S04, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 19, 2007)
A more mature woman (Morgan Fairchild) helps rebuild Charlie's ego after he becomes insecure about his age.
  • Thu 2/23
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Merely Slept With a Commie

S04, E17  (First Aired: Feb. 26, 2007)
Evelyn makes Charlie and Alan regret saying that she will not have any mourners at her funeral.
  • Thu 2/23
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!

S02, E17  (First Aired: Feb. 21, 2005)
Charlie eschews Alan's medical advice in favor of a visit to his pretty female doctor after he injures his back during sex.
  • Fri 2/24
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

It Never Rains in Hooterville

S04, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 19, 2007)
After realizing that Jake's childhood is almost over, Alan makes a last-minute try at father-son bonding; Kandi embarks on a new career.
  • Sun 2/26
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Smooth as a Ken Doll

S04, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 9, 2007)
Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, as Judith and Herb's wedding nears.
  • Sun 2/26
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

S04, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 16, 2007)
Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding; Charlie continues his fling with Herb's sister.
  • Sun 2/26
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

S11, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 14, 2013)
Lyndsey's jealousy disrupts Walden's and Alan's dates with beautiful women.
  • Mon 2/27
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Smooth as a Ken Doll

S04, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 9, 2007)
Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, as Judith and Herb's wedding nears.
  • Mon 2/27
  • 2:00AM-2:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

S04, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 16, 2007)
Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding; Charlie continues his fling with Herb's sister.
  • Mon 2/27
  • 2:30AM-3:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

It Was Mame, Mom

S02, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 7, 2005)
When a gay ad executive invites Charlie to a cocktail party, Charlie makes Alan go with him, as his gay partner.
  • Mon 2/27
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise

S02, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 21, 2005)
Alan asks one of Charlie's beautiful ex-girlfriends (Jeri Ryan) on a date, but while they are out he is tormented by thoughts of her with Charlie.
  • Mon 2/27
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Mon 2/27
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

S02, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 18, 2005)
When Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other, Rose tries to help the brothers sort out their feelings.
  • Tue 2/28
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

S02, E21  (First Aired: May. 2, 2005)
When Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has died, she attends the funeral with Alan, then is furious to learn that Alan had kept in touch with Harry after the divorce.
  • Tue 2/28
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Tue 2/28
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

S02, E22  (First Aired: May. 9, 2005)
After taking a loan from Evelyn, Alan is guilted into double-dating with her, her new romantic interest and his daughter.
  • Wed 3/1
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

S02, E23  (First Aired: May. 16, 2005)
Alan is reluctant to leave Jake with Evelyn for a sleepover visit until he finds himself partying with Charlie and a busload of beautiful female volleyball players.
  • Wed 3/1
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Wed 3/1
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Does This Smell Funny to You?

S02, E24  (First Aired: May. 23, 2005)
Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an elderly man's (Orson Bean) hot trophy wife.
  • Thu 3/2
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room

S11, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 21, 2013)
When Alan and Lyndsey's affair puts Walden in danger, he is forced to accept Rose's (Melanie Lynskey) help.
  • Thu 3/2
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Thu 3/2
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts

S03, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 19, 2005)
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie volunteers to watch Jake for the weekend.
  • Fri 3/3
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

S11, E09  (First Aired: Dec. 5, 2013)
Walden goes on a date with an accident-prone model; Alan's date reveals surprising personal information.
  • Fri 3/3
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

S04, E23  (First Aired: May. 7, 2007)
Charlie loses a woman to the young, handsome handyman (guest star Enrique Iglesias) working at his house.
  • Sun 3/5
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Prostitutes and Gelato

S04, E24  (First Aired: May. 14, 2007)
Charlie and Alan must confront their ``daddy issues'' when Evelyn's new boyfriend (Robert Wagner) invites them to Las Vegas on his private jet.
  • Sun 3/5
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Sun 3/5
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  • Mon 3/6
  • 2:00AM-2:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 2:30AM-3:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT