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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

S07, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 7, 2009)
Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.
  • Fri 4/28
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

S07, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 11, 2010)
Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith.
  • Sat 4/29
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Pilot

S01, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
Charlie's life turns upside down when his brother and nephew move in; at the supermarket, Charlie discovers he can use 10-year-old Jake to attract women.
  • Sun 4/30
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Big Flappy Bastards

S01, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 29, 2003)
Charlie doesn't know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of sea gulls into his room; Judith surprises Alan when he goes home to fix her sprinklers.
  • Sun 4/30
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That Voodoo That I Do Do

S03, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 14, 2005)
Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.
  • Sun 4/30
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Madame and Her Special Friend

S03, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 21, 2005)
A wealthy, elderly woman (Cloris Leachman) sets her sights on Alan.
  • Sun 4/30
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Something Salted and Twisted

S03, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 28, 2005)
Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate a newspaper article that calls him a ``good doctor, good neighbor and a good guy,'' but it does not impress his mother.
  • Mon 5/1
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Santa's Village of the Damned

S03, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 19, 2005)
Alan dates a controlling woman who takes over the house during the Christmas holidays.
  • Mon 5/1
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

That Special Tug

S03, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 9, 2006)
Alan's emotional breakdown after dropping Jake off for a weekend away sends Charlie to a therapist.
  • Mon 5/1
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Yay, No Polyps!

S07, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 18, 2010)
Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, but he finds them in his living room when he returns home.
  • Mon 5/1
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Crude and Uncalled For

S07, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 1, 2010)
A bar fight lands Alan in jail; Charlie worries that Chelsea is interested in the lawyer who takes Alan's case.
  • Tue 5/2
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Aye, Aye, Captain

S07, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 8, 2010)
Charlie's relationship with Chelsea is threatened by his jealousy.
  • Tue 5/2
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Tinkle Like a Princess

S07, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 1, 2010)
After running off to Las Vegas, Charlie returns with a new wife.
  • Wed 5/3
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

S03, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 6, 2006)
Charlie plans a romantic date with Mia in hopes of consummating their relationship; Alan starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
  • Wed 5/3
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

My Tongue Is Meat

S03, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 27, 2006)
When Charlie finds he can no longer handle the healthy lifestyle that Mia has imposed on him, he sneaks cigars, beer and burgers into the garage.
  • Wed 5/3
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Found Your Mustache

S07, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 8, 2010)
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.
  • Wed 5/3
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

S07, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 22, 2010)
Charlie has a return engagement with Gail (Tricia Helfer), Chelsea's best friend; Alan has a surprising effect on a female patient.
  • Thu 5/4
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Ergo, the Booty Call

S03, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 6, 2006)
Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend to Jake's birthday party.
  • Thu 5/4
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

S03, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 13, 2006)
Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis, Archie (Jon Lovitz).
  • Thu 5/4
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

S07, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 12, 2010)
Jake's new friend, Eldridge, is a bad influence; Alan likes Eldrigdge's attractive mother (Courtney Thorne-Smith).
  • Thu 5/4
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

I Called Him Magoo

S07, E20  (First Aired: May. 10, 2010)
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend; Charlie tries his own approach to get the ``girlfriend experience.''
  • Fri 5/5
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

S03, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 20, 2006)
Paying his young girlfriend's bills financially straps Alan.
  • Fri 5/5
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

And the Plot Moistens

S03, E21  (First Aired: May. 1, 2006)
Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi; Charlie helps Jake prepare a song for his audition for the school musical.
  • Fri 5/5
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Gumby With a Pokey

S07, E21  (First Aired: May. 17, 2010)
While Alan and Jake are away on a road trip, Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends.
  • Fri 5/5
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

This Is Not Gonna End Well

S07, E22  (First Aired: May. 24, 2010)
After Charlie's license is suspended, Jake becomes his driver; Alan plans to go to Chelsea's birthday party.
  • Sat 5/6
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Just Once With Aunt Sophie

S03, E22  (First Aired: May. 8, 2006)
Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.
  • Sun 5/7
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Who's Vod Kanockers?

S04, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 25, 2006)
Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor (Steven Tyler) causes trouble.
  • Sun 5/7
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

S01, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 20, 2003)
Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.
  • Sun 5/7
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

S01, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 27, 2003)
After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up; Charlie teaches Jake a lesson about screening telephone calls from women.
  • Sun 5/7
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

S04, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 2, 2006)
Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.
  • Mon 5/8
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Mon 5/8
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  • Tue 5/9
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  • Wed 5/10
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  • Thu 5/11
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  •  
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT
  • Fri 5/12
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 9.1
  • WGNDT