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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

S01, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 15, 2003)
Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau; when the brothers go shopping, they clash over what to buy.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 1:38PM-2:16PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Camel Filters and Pheremones

S01, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 5, 2004)
The housekeeper's beautiful granddaughter comes to work with her and attracts the attention of the men; Alan tries to convince Judith that Charlie's house is good for Jake.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 2:16PM-2:54PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Sarah Like Puny Alan

S01, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 12, 2004)
Charlie sets his ailing brother up on a date, then drags him to a steam room to help him get rid of his flu symptoms.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 2:54PM-3:27PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

S01, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 9, 2004)
Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie. Guest star: Jenna Elfman.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 3:27PM-4:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

A Jock Strap in Hell

S06, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 20, 2008)
The guys run into Jake's former teacher (Alicia Witt) who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie; Charlie gives her a room and a job to try and help her out, but things get out of control.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 4:00PM-4:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

It's Always Nazi Week

S06, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 3, 2008)
When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 4:30PM-5:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

S06, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 10, 2008)
Alan tries to escape Judith's clutches as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 5:00PM-5:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Pinocchio's Mouth

S06, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 17, 2008)
Charlie has trouble adjusting when his new girlfriend asks him to spend the night at her place.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 5:30PM-6:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

The Mooch at the Boo

S06, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 24, 2008)
Charlie is left to cover when Jake disappears with the neighbor's daughter; Alan scores a hot date, thanks in part to Charlie's car.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

S03, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 13, 2006)
Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his nemesis, Archie (Jon Lovitz).
  • Mon 7/16
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

S06, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 8, 2008)
When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, Alan wonders if he ever needs to work again.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

The Devil's Lube

S06, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 15, 2008)
When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Thank God for Scoliosis

S06, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 12, 2009)
Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

I Think You Offended Don

S06, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 19, 2009)
Judith is pregnant with a baby girl, and Alan is convinced he is the father; Jake is in a contentious mood, and Charlie thinks he knows why.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 8:00PM-8:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

S06, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 2, 2009)
Convinced that Alan is not appreciated by his family, Melissa asks him to live with her and her mother.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 8:30PM-9:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

I'd Like to Start With the Cat

S06, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 9, 2009)
In an attempt to prove he has changed from his old self, Charlie agrees to go with Chelsea to couples counseling.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

S06, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 2, 2009)
Charlie rushes to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom before Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor) arrives.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

A Pot-Smoking Monkey

S04, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 9, 2006)
After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

The Ocu or the Pado?

S06, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 9, 2009)
When Charlie swears his love to Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), her response is nothing like what he'd expected.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

S04, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 16, 2006)
Herb (Ryan Stiles) and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

My Son's Enormous Head

S06, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 16, 2009)
Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick and he is forced to take care of her.
  • Mon 7/16
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

S03, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 20, 2006)
Paying his young girlfriend's bills financially straps Alan.
  • Tue 7/17
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Apologies for the Frivolity

S04, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 23, 2006)
Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.
  • Tue 7/17
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

S04, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 6, 2006)
Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter (Sara Rue); Alan satisfies a secret fetish.
  • Tue 7/17
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

S01, E17  (First Aired: Feb. 23, 2004)
Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.
  • Tue 7/17
  • 1:00PM-1:38PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

An Old Flame With a New Wick

S01, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 1, 2004)
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).
  • Tue 7/17
  • 1:38PM-2:16PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

S01, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 22, 2004)
Judith's sister, Liz (guest star Teri Hatcher), hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party; Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake.
  • Tue 7/17
  • 2:16PM-2:54PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

S01, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 19, 2004)
After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist (Jane Lynch).
  • Tue 7/17
  • 2:54PM-3:27PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

No Sniffing, No Wowing

S01, E21  (First Aired: May. 3, 2004)
Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura (Heather Locklear).
  • Tue 7/17
  • 3:27PM-4:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

S03, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 10, 2006)
Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house, since Charlie is having a dry spell with women.
  • Tue 7/17
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

S03, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 24, 2006)
Charlie sleeps with Kandi's mother, as Alan tries to win her daughter back; Kandi arranges a date between her father and Judith.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

S10, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 25, 2012)
Walden ignores Alan's warnings and starts dating Rose (Melanie Lynskey).
  • Wed 7/18
  • 2:00AM-2:30AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Ferrets, Attack!

S10, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 1, 2012)
Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 2:30AM-3:00AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Avoid the Chinese Mustard

S10, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 8, 2012)
When Walden gets tired of the complications that come with a traditional relationship, he hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi (Miley Cyrus) at the beach house.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 3:00AM-3:30AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Something My Gynecologist Said

S10, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 15, 2012)
Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him; Walden enjoys being the boy-toy of a wealthy older woman.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 3:30AM-4:00AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

S01, E22  (First Aired: May. 10, 2004)
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees a therapist (Jane Lynch).
  • Wed 7/18
  • 1:00PM-1:30PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Just Like Buffalo

S01, E23  (First Aired: May. 17, 2004)
Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 1:30PM-2:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Can You Feel My Finger?

S01, E24  (First Aired: May. 24, 2004)
A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Back Off Mary Poppins

S02, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 20, 2004)
Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

S02, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 27, 2004)
Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician (Ryan Stiles), and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 3:00PM-3:30PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

A Bag Full of Jawea

S02, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 4, 2004)
Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher, but the results are unfortunate.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 3:30PM-4:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

And the Plot Moistens

S03, E21  (First Aired: May. 1, 2006)
Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi; Charlie helps Jake prepare a song for his audition for the school musical.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Release the Dogs

S04, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 13, 2006)
Alan takes Charlie's suggestion of a jog on the beach to cure his insomnia; Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

S04, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 20, 2006)
Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
  • Wed 7/18
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Just Once With Aunt Sophie

S03, E22  (First Aired: May. 8, 2006)
Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Kissing Abraham Lincoln

S04, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 27, 2006)
Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Castrating Sheep in Montana

S04, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 8, 2007)
Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter (Sara Rue).
  • Thu 7/19
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

I Scream When I Pee

S10, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 29, 2012)
Alan's famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile; when Berta isn't interested in celebrating her birthday, Walden tries to make her day special.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 1:58AM-2:30AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

One Nut Johnson

S10, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 6, 2012)
Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 2:30AM-3:00AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Welcome to Alancrest

S10, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 3, 2013)
Alan invests Walden's money in Kate's fashion line; leading a double life takes its toll on Walden.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 3:00AM-3:30AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Grab a Feather and Get in Line

S10, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 10, 2013)
Alan and Walden go to Kate's fashion show in New York so Walden can reveal the truth about his identity.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 3:30AM-4:00AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Go Get Mommy's Bra

S02, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 11, 2004)
Charlie's mother, Evelyn, asks to borrow his Mercedes so she can impress a Saudi prince who she wants to buy real estate.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 1:00PM-1:38PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Bad News From the Clinic

S02, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 18, 2004)
Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who is better at playing hard to get than he is.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 1:38PM-2:16PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

S02, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 25, 2004)
Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 2:16PM-2:54PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

S02, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 8, 2004)
Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister (Camryn Manheim) to cater a party their mother has conned them into throwing for her.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 2:54PM-3:27PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

S02, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 15, 2004)
Alan gets a taste of what Charlie's sex life is like when he meets a woman at the grocery store who fulfills his every fantasy.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 3:27PM-4:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Arguments for the Quickie

S03, E23  (First Aired: May. 15, 2006)
Charlie's former girlfriend (Emmanuelle Vaugier) returns with an unexpected request.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

S04, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 22, 2007)
When Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb (Ryan Stiles) making out, it triggers a repressed memory for Charlie.
  • Thu 7/19
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

S04, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 5, 2007)
Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor (guest star Brooke Shields).
  • Thu 7/19
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Palmdale, Ech

S09, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 19, 2012)
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers; Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

My Damn Stalker

S04, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 12, 2007)
Charlie must face his feelings when Rose announces she is moving to London; Alan fudges his online dating profile, only to wind up with a fellow profile-embellisher (Allison Janney).
  • Fri 7/20
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Young People Have Phlegm Too

S04, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 19, 2007)
A more mature woman (Morgan Fairchild) helps rebuild Charlie's ego after he becomes insecure about his age.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

The Salmon Under My Sweater

S02, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 29, 2004)
Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics; things heat up between Alan and Rose.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 1:00PM-1:38PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

S02, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 13, 2004)
Jake discovers an angry Web site devoted to Charlie's womanizing ways.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 1:38PM-2:16PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

A Lungful of Alan

S02, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 3, 2005)
Alan's homely high-school friend (Paget Brewster) returns as a beautiful woman, and the brothers quickly begin competing for her attentions.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 2:16PM-2:54PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

S02, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 17, 2005)
When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 2:54PM-3:27PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts

S02, E14  (First Aired: Jan. 31, 2005)
Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 3:27PM-4:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

The Two Finger Rule

S06, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 30, 2009)
Chelsea finds pictures of a naked woman on Charlie's phone.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

S06, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 13, 2009)
Evelyn finally meets Charlie and Chelsea.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Above Exalted Cyclops

S06, E21  (First Aired: Apr. 27, 2009)
Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with Rose.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

S06, E22  (First Aired: May. 4, 2009)
Alan finds there is not much room for him left in the house when Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth

S06, E23  (First Aired: May. 11, 2009)
When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 8:00PM-8:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

S06, E24  (First Aired: May. 18, 2009)
When Charlie finds out that Mia is back in town, he begins to question his relationship with Chelsea; Judith is rushed to the hospital.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 8:30PM-9:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

818-jklpuzo

S07, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 21, 2009)
Charlie must decide between his fiancee, Chelsea, and his former girlfriend, Mia.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

S07, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 28, 2009)
Charlie's house is taken over by women when Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend move in.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

I Merely Slept With a Commie

S04, E17  (First Aired: Feb. 26, 2007)
Evelyn makes Charlie and Alan regret saying that she will not have any mourners at her funeral.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Mmm, Fish. Yum

S07, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 5, 2009)
Alan cares for Judith's baby and her tipsy mother; Jake uses an incriminating picture to blackmail Charlie.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

It Never Rains in Hooterville

S04, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 19, 2007)
After realizing that Jake's childhood is almost over, Alan makes a last-minute try at father-son bonding; Kandi embarks on a new career.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

S07, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 12, 2009)
Alan takes a job working for Evelyn; Charlie must mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

For the Sake of the Child

S07, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 19, 2009)
After they embarrass him in public, Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 11:00PM-11:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Give Me Your Thumb

S07, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 2, 2009)
Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast-reduction surgery, and Charlie kicks him out.
  • Fri 7/20
  • 11:30PM-12:00AM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Untainted by Filth

S07, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 9, 2009)
Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Grandma's Pie

S09, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 9, 2012)
Walden tells Zoey that he will be going into business with his ex-wife (Judy Greer); Lyndsey and Alan grapple with their mothers' new relationship.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

S07, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 16, 2009)
Chelsea tries to help her beautiful college roommate get over a bad breakup.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

S04, E23  (First Aired: May. 7, 2007)
Charlie loses a woman to the young, handsome handyman (guest star Enrique Iglesias) working at his house.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Prostitutes and Gelato

S04, E24  (First Aired: May. 14, 2007)
Charlie and Alan must confront their ``daddy issues'' when Evelyn's new boyfriend (Robert Wagner) invites them to Las Vegas on his private jet.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

S05, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 24, 2007)
Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 9:00AM-9:36AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Media Room Slash Dungeon

S05, E02  (First Aired: Oct. 1, 2007)
Charlie behaves strangely after an evening with his mother; Alan's date (Janeane Garofalo) reacts oddly after making love.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 9:36AM-10:12AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

S05, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 8, 2007)
Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 10:12AM-10:48AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

City of Great Racks

S05, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 15, 2007)
Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 10:48AM-11:24AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

S05, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 22, 2007)
Charlie has to entertain his girlfriend's 4-year-old son; Alan becomes a human guinea pig.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 11:24AM-12:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

S05, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 29, 2007)
Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with him; Jake sneaks out to go to a concert.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 12:00PM-12:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

S05, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 5, 2007)
Charlie and Alan butt heads over Alan's place in the house, prompting Alan and Jake to move in with Evelyn.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 12:30PM-1:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

S05, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 12, 2007)
Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 1:00PM-1:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Tight's Good

S05, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 19, 2007)
Charlie tries to resist an attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister (Jenny McCarthy).
  • Sat 7/21
  • 1:30PM-2:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Kinda Like Necrophilia

S05, E10  (First Aired: Nov. 26, 2007)
Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Meander to Your Dander

S05, E11  (First Aired: Mar. 17, 2008)
Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

S05, E12  (First Aired: Mar. 24, 2008)
Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 3:00PM-3:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

The Soil Is Moist

S05, E13  (First Aired: Mar. 31, 2008)
Alan's date, who happens to be a friend of his ex, reveals a secret about Judith's sex life.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 3:30PM-4:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

S05, E16  (First Aired: Apr. 28, 2008)
Alan plans Evelyn's wedding; Charlie pursues his future stepsister.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Fish in a Drawer

S05, E17  (First Aired: May. 5, 2008)
A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.
  • Sat 7/21
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

S08, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 18, 2010)
Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.
  • Sun 7/22
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Twanging Your Magic Clanger

S08, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 25, 2010)
Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman.
  • Sun 7/22
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Run Steven Staven! Run!

S10, E14  (First Aired: Jan. 31, 2013)
Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships.
  • Sun 7/22
  • 3:30AM-4:00AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Smooth as a Ken Doll

S04, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 9, 2007)
Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, as Judith and Herb's wedding nears.
  • Sun 7/22
  • 3:00PM-3:30PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

S04, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 16, 2007)
Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding; Charlie continues his fling with Herb's sister.
  • Sun 7/22
  • 3:30PM-4:00PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

S04, E21  (First Aired: Apr. 23, 2007)
Alan's friendship with a gay single dad prompts both Alan and Charlie to re-examine their sexual identities.
  • Sun 7/22
  • 4:00PM-4:30PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

S04, E22  (First Aired: Apr. 30, 2007)
Jake has a windfall when Charlie takes him to the track; Alan finds himself stuck at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
  • Sun 7/22
  • 4:30PM-5:00PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

If My Hole Could Talk

S05, E18  (First Aired: May. 12, 2008)
Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight over a school assignment.
  • Sun 7/22
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Waiting for the Right Snapper

S05, E19  (First Aired: May. 19, 2008)
Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the daughter of the woman he's dating and realizes they've met before.
  • Sun 7/22
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

The Crazy Bitch Gazette

S08, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 1, 2010)
Charlie's girlfriend gets fed up with his stalker, Rose.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Springtime on a Stick

S08, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 8, 2010)
Charlie and Alan try to set Evelyn up with the pharmacist, Russell.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 1:00PM-1:38PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 1:38PM-2:16PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 2:16PM-2:54PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 2:54PM-3:27PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 3:27PM-4:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

S07, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 23, 2009)
Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 4:00PM-4:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

S07, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 7, 2009)
Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 4:30PM-5:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Warning, It's Dirty

S07, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 14, 2009)
Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 5:00PM-5:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

S07, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 11, 2010)
Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 5:30PM-6:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Yay, No Polyps!

S07, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 18, 2010)
Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, but he finds them in his living room when he returns home.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 6:00PM-6:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Working for Caligula

S04, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 18, 2006)
Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle; Alan breaks down following his second divorce.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Crude and Uncalled For

S07, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 1, 2010)
A bar fight lands Alan in jail; Charlie worries that Chelsea is interested in the lawyer who takes Alan's case.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Aye, Aye, Captain

S07, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 8, 2010)
Charlie's relationship with Chelsea is threatened by his jealousy.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 7:00PM-7:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Tinkle Like a Princess

S07, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 1, 2010)
After running off to Las Vegas, Charlie returns with a new wife.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 7:30PM-8:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

I Found Your Mustache

S07, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 8, 2010)
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 8:00PM-8:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

S07, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 22, 2010)
Charlie has a return engagement with Gail (Tricia Helfer), Chelsea's best friend; Alan has a surprising effect on a female patient.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 8:30PM-9:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

S07, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 12, 2010)
Jake's new friend, Eldridge, is a bad influence; Alan likes Eldrigdge's attractive mother (Courtney Thorne-Smith).
  • Mon 7/23
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

I Called Him Magoo

S07, E20  (First Aired: May. 10, 2010)
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend; Charlie tries his own approach to get the ``girlfriend experience.''
  • Mon 7/23
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

S06, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 22, 2008)
Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Gumby With a Pokey

S07, E21  (First Aired: May. 17, 2010)
While Alan and Jake are away on a road trip, Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Pie Hole, Herb

S06, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 29, 2008)
Alan crosses a line when he tries to get back money that he lent Charlie.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

This Is Not Gonna End Well

S07, E22  (First Aired: May. 24, 2010)
After Charlie's license is suspended, Jake becomes his driver; Alan plans to go to Chelsea's birthday party.
  • Mon 7/23
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 83
  • IFC HD
  •  
  •  
  • 818
  • IFC HD

Who's Vod Kanockers?

S04, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 25, 2006)
Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor (Steven Tyler) causes trouble.
  • Tue 7/24
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

Damn You, Eggs Benedict

S06, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 6, 2008)
Charlie attempts to cook, Alan tries to date two women at the same time, and Jake samples beer.
  • Tue 7/24
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

The Flavin' and the Mavin

S06, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 13, 2008)
Alan awaits disaster as Charlie romances Alan's sweet receptionist.
  • Tue 7/24
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie.
  • Tue 7/24
  • 1:00PM-1:38PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 1:38PM-2:16PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 2:16PM-2:54PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 2:54PM-3:27PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 3:27PM-4:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

S04, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 2, 2006)
Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.
  • Tue 7/24
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

A Pot-Smoking Monkey

S04, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 9, 2006)
After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.
  • Wed 7/25
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie.
  • Wed 7/25
  • 1:00PM-1:30PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 1:30PM-2:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 3:00PM-3:30PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 3:30PM-4:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 4:00PM-4:30PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

S04, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 16, 2006)
Herb (Ryan Stiles) and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.
  • Wed 7/25
  • 6:30PM-7:00PM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

A Jock Strap in Hell

S06, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 20, 2008)
The guys run into Jake's former teacher (Alicia Witt) who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie; Charlie gives her a room and a job to try and help her out, but things get out of control.
  • Wed 7/25
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

It's Always Nazi Week

S06, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 3, 2008)
When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking.
  • Wed 7/25
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie.
  • Wed 7/25
  • 11:06PM-11:33PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 11:33PM-12:00AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  • Thu 7/26
  • 12:00AM-12:30AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Apologies for the Frivolity

S04, E06  (First Aired: Oct. 23, 2006)
Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.
  • Thu 7/26
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie.
  • Thu 7/26
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

S06, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 10, 2008)
Alan tries to escape Judith's clutches as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.
  • Thu 7/26
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Pinocchio's Mouth

S06, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 17, 2008)
Charlie has trouble adjusting when his new girlfriend asks him to spend the night at her place.
  • Thu 7/26
  • 1:30AM-2:00AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie.
  • Thu 7/26
  • 2:06AM-2:33AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 2:33AM-3:00AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 3:00AM-3:30AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 3:30AM-4:00AM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 1:00PM-1:38PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 1:38PM-2:16PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 2:16PM-2:54PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 2:54PM-3:27PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD
  •  
  • 3:27PM-4:00PM
  • 41
  • Paramt HD

The Mooch at the Boo

S06, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 24, 2008)
Charlie is left to cover when Jake disappears with the neighbor's daughter; Alan scores a hot date, thanks in part to Charlie's car.
  • Thu 7/26
  • 10:00PM-10:30PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

S06, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 8, 2008)
When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, Alan wonders if he ever needs to work again.
  • Thu 7/26
  • 10:30PM-11:00PM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Mr. Hose Says Yes

S09, E21  (First Aired: Apr. 16, 2012)
Zoey and her daughter move in with Walden; Alan gets more than he bargained for with Lyndsey.
  • Fri 7/27
  • 12:30AM-1:00AM
  • 11
  • WPIXDT

The Devil's Lube

S06, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 15, 2008)
When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.
  • Fri 7/27
  • 1:00AM-1:30AM
  • 34
  • TV Land HD

Thank God for Scoliosis

S06, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 12, 2009)