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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Genre: Sitcom

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie. As they acclimate to their living arrangement, the tightly wound Alan finds himself taking on a mentor role with Walden, whose lifelong dependence on being taken care of has left him a bit naive. Despite his unsuccessful romantic history, Alan also tries to help Walden overcome his limited experiences with dating. Berta, a sharp-tongued, unapologetic housekeeper, is also featured in the series.
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    Avg. 2.5 (12,263 ratings)
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All Upcoming Times for Two and a Half Men

Episode Air Date Channel

My Son's Enormous Head

S06, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 16, 2009)
Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick and he is forced to take care of her.
  • Fri 8/18
  • 11:00AM-11:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

The Two Finger Rule

S06, E19  (First Aired: Mar. 30, 2009)
Chelsea finds pictures of a naked woman on Charlie's phone.
  • Fri 8/18
  • 11:30AM-12:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

S06, E20  (First Aired: Apr. 13, 2009)
Evelyn finally meets Charlie and Chelsea.
  • Fri 8/18
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

Above Exalted Cyclops

S06, E21  (First Aired: Apr. 27, 2009)
Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with Rose.
  • Fri 8/18
  • 3:00PM-3:30PM
  • 31
  • FX

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

S06, E22  (First Aired: May. 4, 2009)
Alan finds there is not much room for him left in the house when Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.
  • Fri 8/18
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For

S10, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 18, 2012)
A friend's visiting daughter (Miley Cyrus) makes Walden feel his age.
  • Fri 8/18
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

S06, E22  (First Aired: May. 4, 2009)
Alan finds there is not much room for him left in the house when Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.
  • Sat 8/19
  • 8:00AM-8:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth

S06, E23  (First Aired: May. 11, 2009)
When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.
  • Sat 8/19
  • 8:30AM-9:00AM
  • 31
  • FX

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

S06, E24  (First Aired: May. 18, 2009)
When Charlie finds out that Mia is back in town, he begins to question his relationship with Chelsea; Judith is rushed to the hospital.
  • Sat 8/19
  • 9:00AM-9:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

S08, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 7, 2011)
Charlie and Rose continue their affair; Alan's business becomes a Ponzi scheme.
  • Sat 8/19
  • 8:00PM-8:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

That Darn Priest

S08, E16  (First Aired: Feb. 14, 2011)
Rose discovers Alan's Ponzi scheme; Alan meets Rose's ``husband''; Charlie tries to get time alone with Rose.
  • Sat 8/19
  • 8:30PM-9:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

S06, E24  (First Aired: May. 18, 2009)
When Charlie finds out that Mia is back in town, he begins to question his relationship with Chelsea; Judith is rushed to the hospital.
  • Sun 8/20
  • 1:01AM-1:31AM
  • 31
  • FX

818-jklpuzo

S07, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 21, 2009)
Charlie must decide between his fiancee, Chelsea, and his former girlfriend, Mia.
  • Sun 8/20
  • 1:31AM-2:01AM
  • 31
  • FX

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

S07, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 28, 2009)
Charlie's house is taken over by women when Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend move in.
  • Mon 8/21
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 31
  • FX

Mmm, Fish. Yum

S07, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 5, 2009)
Alan cares for Judith's baby and her tipsy mother; Jake uses an incriminating picture to blackmail Charlie.
  • Mon 8/21
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

Baseball Was Better With Steroids

S06, E24  (First Aired: May. 18, 2009)
When Charlie finds out that Mia is back in town, he begins to question his relationship with Chelsea; Judith is rushed to the hospital.
  • Mon 8/21
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

818-jklpuzo

S07, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 21, 2009)
Charlie must decide between his fiancee, Chelsea, and his former girlfriend, Mia.
  • Mon 8/21
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

S07, E02  (First Aired: Sep. 28, 2009)
Charlie's house is taken over by women when Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend move in.
  • Tue 8/22
  • 10:30AM-11:00AM
  • 31
  • FX

Mmm, Fish. Yum

S07, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 5, 2009)
Alan cares for Judith's baby and her tipsy mother; Jake uses an incriminating picture to blackmail Charlie.
  • Tue 8/22
  • 11:00AM-11:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

S07, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 12, 2009)
Alan takes a job working for Evelyn; Charlie must mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.
  • Tue 8/22
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 31
  • FX

For the Sake of the Child

S07, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 19, 2009)
After they embarrass him in public, Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan.
  • Tue 8/22
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

Give Me Your Thumb

S07, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 2, 2009)
Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast-reduction surgery, and Charlie kicks him out.
  • Tue 8/22
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Untainted by Filth

S07, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 9, 2009)
Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.
  • Tue 8/22
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

S07, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 12, 2009)
Alan takes a job working for Evelyn; Charlie must mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.
  • Wed 8/23
  • 10:30AM-11:00AM
  • 31
  • FX

For the Sake of the Child

S07, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 19, 2009)
After they embarrass him in public, Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan.
  • Wed 8/23
  • 11:00AM-11:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

Give Me Your Thumb

S07, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 2, 2009)
Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast-reduction surgery, and Charlie kicks him out.
  • Wed 8/23
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 31
  • FX

Untainted by Filth

S07, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 9, 2009)
Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.
  • Wed 8/23
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

S07, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 16, 2009)
Chelsea tries to help her beautiful college roommate get over a bad breakup.
  • Wed 8/23
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

S07, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 23, 2009)
Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.
  • Wed 8/23
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Give Me Your Thumb

S07, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 2, 2009)
Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast-reduction surgery, and Charlie kicks him out.
  • Thu 8/24
  • 10:30AM-11:00AM
  • 31
  • FX

Untainted by Filth

S07, E07  (First Aired: Nov. 9, 2009)
Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.
  • Thu 8/24
  • 11:00AM-11:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

S07, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 16, 2009)
Chelsea tries to help her beautiful college roommate get over a bad breakup.
  • Thu 8/24
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 31
  • FX

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

S07, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 23, 2009)
Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.
  • Thu 8/24
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

S07, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 7, 2009)
Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.
  • Thu 8/24
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

S10, E05  (First Aired: Oct. 25, 2012)
Walden ignores Alan's warnings and starts dating Rose (Melanie Lynskey).
  • Thu 8/24
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

S07, E08  (First Aired: Nov. 16, 2009)
Chelsea tries to help her beautiful college roommate get over a bad breakup.
  • Fri 8/25
  • 11:00AM-11:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

S07, E09  (First Aired: Nov. 23, 2009)
Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.
  • Fri 8/25
  • 11:30AM-12:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

S07, E10  (First Aired: Dec. 7, 2009)
Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.
  • Fri 8/25
  • 4:00PM-4:30PM
  • 31
  • FX

Warning, It's Dirty

S07, E11  (First Aired: Dec. 14, 2009)
Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas.
  • Fri 8/25
  • 4:30PM-5:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

S07, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 11, 2010)
Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith.
  • Fri 8/25
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Ferrets, Attack!

S10, E06  (First Aired: Nov. 1, 2012)
Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose.
  • Fri 8/25
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

S07, E12  (First Aired: Jan. 11, 2010)
Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith.
  • Sat 8/26
  • 9:00AM-9:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

Yay, No Polyps!

S07, E13  (First Aired: Jan. 18, 2010)
Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, but he finds them in his living room when he returns home.
  • Sat 8/26
  • 9:30AM-10:00AM
  • 31
  • FX

Crude and Uncalled For

S07, E14  (First Aired: Feb. 1, 2010)
A bar fight lands Alan in jail; Charlie worries that Chelsea is interested in the lawyer who takes Alan's case.
  • Sat 8/26
  • 10:00AM-10:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

Aye, Aye, Captain

S07, E15  (First Aired: Feb. 8, 2010)
Charlie's relationship with Chelsea is threatened by his jealousy.
  • Sat 8/26
  • 10:30AM-11:00AM
  • 31
  • FX

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

S01, E03  (First Aired: Oct. 6, 2003)
One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.
  • Sat 8/26
  • 8:00PM-8:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

S01, E04  (First Aired: Oct. 13, 2003)
Alan offers to help get Charlie's cleaning lady back if Charlie can get Jake ready to go out to dinner with his mother.
  • Sat 8/26
  • 8:30PM-9:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Tinkle Like a Princess

S07, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 1, 2010)
After running off to Las Vegas, Charlie returns with a new wife.
  • Mon 8/28
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 31
  • FX

I Found Your Mustache

S07, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 8, 2010)
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.
  • Mon 8/28
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Mon 8/28
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW
  •  
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Tinkle Like a Princess

S07, E16  (First Aired: Mar. 1, 2010)
After running off to Las Vegas, Charlie returns with a new wife.
  • Tue 8/29
  • 11:00AM-11:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

I Found Your Mustache

S07, E17  (First Aired: Mar. 8, 2010)
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.
  • Tue 8/29
  • 11:30AM-12:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

S07, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 22, 2010)
Charlie has a return engagement with Gail (Tricia Helfer), Chelsea's best friend; Alan has a surprising effect on a female patient.
  • Tue 8/29
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 31
  • FX

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

S07, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 12, 2010)
Jake's new friend, Eldridge, is a bad influence; Alan likes Eldrigdge's attractive mother (Courtney Thorne-Smith).
  • Tue 8/29
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Tue 8/29
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW
  •  
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

S07, E18  (First Aired: Mar. 22, 2010)
Charlie has a return engagement with Gail (Tricia Helfer), Chelsea's best friend; Alan has a surprising effect on a female patient.
  • Wed 8/30
  • 11:00AM-11:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

S07, E19  (First Aired: Apr. 12, 2010)
Jake's new friend, Eldridge, is a bad influence; Alan likes Eldrigdge's attractive mother (Courtney Thorne-Smith).
  • Wed 8/30
  • 11:30AM-12:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

I Called Him Magoo

S07, E20  (First Aired: May. 10, 2010)
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend; Charlie tries his own approach to get the ``girlfriend experience.''
  • Wed 8/30
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 31
  • FX

Gumby With a Pokey

S07, E21  (First Aired: May. 17, 2010)
While Alan and Jake are away on a road trip, Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends.
  • Wed 8/30
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Wed 8/30
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW
  •  
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW

I Called Him Magoo

S07, E20  (First Aired: May. 10, 2010)
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend; Charlie tries his own approach to get the ``girlfriend experience.''
  • Thu 8/31
  • 10:30AM-11:00AM
  • 31
  • FX

Gumby With a Pokey

S07, E21  (First Aired: May. 17, 2010)
While Alan and Jake are away on a road trip, Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends.
  • Thu 8/31
  • 11:00AM-11:30AM
  • 31
  • FX

This Is Not Gonna End Well

S07, E22  (First Aired: May. 24, 2010)
After Charlie's license is suspended, Jake becomes his driver; Alan plans to go to Chelsea's birthday party.
  • Thu 8/31
  • 2:00PM-2:30PM
  • 31
  • FX

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

S08, E01  (First Aired: Sep. 20, 2010)
Jake goes to live with Judith and Herb after learning that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom; Charlie decides to cut back on his drinking.
  • Thu 8/31
  • 2:30PM-3:00PM
  • 31
  • FX

No Episode Title

(First Aired: Sep. 22, 2003)
The social interactions of a group of misfits, including a divorcee and an Internet billionaire.
  • Thu 8/31
  • 9:00PM-9:30PM
  • 6
  • KMTW
  •  
  • 9:30PM-10:00PM
  • 6
  • KMTW